In this piece, Prince Ajibola shares his thought process on his birthday. He opens up about the reality of his life at 25 in a bare it all reflective article of how he found himself in the quarter life crisis. The objective of this piece is to connect the reader with the personality writing the series. It’s important for the readers to know that the author is far from being perfect and he himself is on a journey of self-discovery and trying to figure out the quarter life crisis. Its honest, its deep and it promises to be a great read.
“I Woke Up In A Crisis at 25!”
Today I turn 25, and instead of the usual celebrations I find myself reflecting on the past present and future. I am here thinking of all the little moments that brought me up till this point and at the same time I find myself deliberating on the next few actions I plan to take to move me closer to achieving my dreams and aspirations.
This may sound funny, but while reflecting I catch myself talking to myself, not in a crazy hysterical way but similar to how some geniuses would lament and internally deliberate things on their mind(s). With that said, maybe it’s only natural for us as human beings to experience a little crazy before our inner true genius is found.
“FINDING MYSELF IN THE QUARTER LIFE”
There are so many thoughts running through my mind. A whole bunch of could of, would of, should ofs and the big "what Ifs" are driving me crazy, causing a sort of crisis I've never experienced before. It’s almost maddening!
I know crisis seems like a very strong word to describe this but a crisis is defined as an unstable and dangerous situation. It is often not predictable and it creeps up on you like a thief in the night. And all this lamenting has thrown me in a very similar situation by the definition of the word. My mind, and heart aren’t settled as they are plague by issues of the quarter life.
I woke up realizing that a quarter of the years I have to live and make an impact in this world was gone forever, and maybe if I'm lucky I'll live to see another quarter. The thought of this is extremely scary because there is still so much for me to achieve before that inevitable time comes.
I have dreams of travelling and exploring new things around the globe. Dreams of becoming a positive impact on the world. Dreams of making difference!
Most pressing on my mind at the moment are my family, traveling, building my career, and my financial status. For other’s in similar shoes, the most pressing matters might be a slightly different but mostly characteristic of the quarter life crisis.
lf I may quote words from October’s very own lyrical genius, Drake, the Canadian chocolate and vanilla macaroon rapper..... "We in the same building, but we got different views"
25 AND SEEKING EMPLOYMENT
Thankfully, I'm not jobless but I've noticed a very unhealthy pattern. My flare for entrepreneurship wasn’t something I planned; it was born out of a necessity to create my dream job. One which would further build my people and inter-personal skills and increase my business acumen, while giving me room to express my creativity.
But as a consultant, I find myself constantly "in-between jobs" leaving one job for another job and easily being carried away and prioritizing certain hobbies I'm passionate about as a career (kind of like how one juggles multiple competitive sports).
As a self-branded Business and Brand Management Consultant, sometimes I feel like Marty Kan and and some days I feel like Homer Simpson, kicking my legs up in the office with a box of pizza by my side!
At the moment, I've been out of a full-time contract for nearly 6 months and I'm starting to wonder if the problem is me or the job market. Although I think the problem I'm having has more to do more with the kind of job and not just any job, I think you would agree with me that finding a job or “contract” in modern day Nigeria has just got ten-times (10x) as hard in this recession.
This may sound narcissistic but indulge me. Somehow, I'm able to find some solace with 75% of the labour market out of work... I think knowing I'm not the only person unemployed softens the blow to my ego, and I believe sharing mutual burdens with people makes you feel less like a victim but there is no justification for why anyone should remain unemployed for too long.
FAILED RELATIONSHIPS
As challenging as my search for a job has been, my love life isn't anything to write home about either. The quest for love often lands me in some very regrettable circumstances and before I get enough time to heal I find myself making all the same mistakes all over again. People often jump to the assumption that I am a player, a heartless playboy but no one ever stops to think of me as the victim. The broken hearted one, scared by failed attempts of finding true love and left with a complicated list of broken relationships (the details of which aren't important now).
How this happened, I don't know! But what I do know is that I once dreamt of settling down at 25 with a baby mama and Junior Jibbz running after me to play peek-a-boo with him and her by now. And by this year's Halloween, we would have been planning how to dress up as a vampire family or perhaps just have Junior Jibbz dressed up as our personalised cute life-sized Pikachu for Halloween.
Maybe that hasn't happened yet because I'm not yet a millionaire. It’s hard to settle down when you are not financially stable. I know of couples who have been "engaged" or "together" for years and not ready for marriage due to their financial dispositions.
And although this isn’t the only reason I’ve stayed single I feel this could be a large part of it.
OVER SHOT FINANCIAL PROJECTIONS …
I’ve always seen myself being a millionaire by 30. So at 25, its only normal to expect that I would at least be half way there but unfortunately, it feels like I'm a long way off. I feel broker being 25, and in the work force, than I ever did while I was growing up and in school.
This is most likely due to the pressures of paying bills, keeping up appearances and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, as well as all those other little expenses I didn't have to worry about while I was in school.
Who knows how I feel?
I wonder if anyone knows what I'm going through. Is anyone out there having these series of thoughts passing through their head? I desperately want to know if anyone has ever felt fear and anxiety like this (by fear I mean the fear of not knowing the exact direction your life is headed and not knowing whether or not you are on the right track).
It’s like setting your destination on a map and waking up to find yourself in an opposite direction.
Look at me as a clear example, how did I end up ditching a life of science for juggling multiple jobs in the world of business and endless hustle and living failed relationships when I always thought any girl would be lucky to have me.
Junior me would have slapped me in the face in mockery of what I've become but the truth is Junior me hadn't experienced life the way I have now. He only sat up in bed dreaming of a way to escape his reality. Praying for greener pastures and a greater future to come.
This right here is a crisis and all this anxiety and self-judgement may and may not be healthy…. But it is necessary for growth!
This thought process could either make you or break you. I can see some people including myself succumbing in the depths of deep depression, and anxiety induced stress but the time of having a pity party when life doesn’t go your way is over.
SOBRIETY
At 25, I find myself experiencing this quarter life crisis and it feels as if I’ve reached a tipping point! That point you know there’s no going back… Kind of like the point when an eagle reaches the top of a peak and decides to take a plunge and just either choosing to crash or spreading its wings to soar just before it hits the ground.
I’ve been through a lot in the quarter century I’ve spent on this Earth. I've battled chronic depression and suffered an identity crisis brought about by constantly changing environments. Things have happened that shook the core of my very foundation. Things that made me question my faith, my belief and almost ruined my morality. The man writing this editorial might not have been here if not for a little whisper on the wind and the discovery of the kind of person he wanted to grow up to be.
Lucky for me, I’ve learnt that true joy comes from simply being content while following your heart. Pretty much just going with the flow of things, while doing what you love and feel is right.
Learning to enjoy life doesn’t begin with the accumulation of wealth but by working with what you have and learning to live with no regrets, not afraid to take chances, and by being ready to own up to every re-action(s) to the action(s)/inaction(s) you choose to make.
It also does a lot of good knowing that somethings can’t be forced or rushed because there are some natural progressions in life which are constant and trying to rush your way through these progression won’t do you or anyone any good.
BEING A WORK IN PROGRESS DOES NOT EQUATES TO FAILURE
True success isn’t achieved at our destination but on the journey to reaching our destination. The challenges we face and overcome leads us to our greatness. It’s very easy for us to self-impose targets and time-lines, wanting to control every second in time and then coming around to beat ourselves up when those expectations aren’t met.
As human beings, we have to realize that we aren’t perfect and that no one alive has mastered the art of perfection. What makes us great is the number of times we get back up after a fall.
As humans we face a lot of limitations, limitation that doesn’t make us less of a wonderfully and fearfully made creation but limitations we just have to live with.
If you realize you’re not where you thought you would be At 25, don’t worry too much about it because luckily your life isn’t over and although you might not have achieved all of your hearts desires, take solace that you still have an opportunity to turn things around and that makes you a champion!
Life at 25" is an editorial series by Prince Ajibola, a young social entrepreneur in his mid-twenties, which promises to address the concerns and challenges faced in our twenties.
Prince Ajibola is a social entrepreneur who has been strategically branded as a business and brand management consultant and an emerging market expert. During the day, He sits on the board of directors of several start-ups and works as the Principal Consultant of PME Lagos, while he doubles as a Writer, Creative Director, and an Event and Talent Promoter in his leisure time. As someone who believes that one’s passion and talent can be harnessed and turned into wealth creation, Prince Ajibola enjoys the perfect balance between business and entertainment.
No comments:
Post a Comment